My Son Quit Baseball Before Try-outs

My 12 year-old son quit baseball before try-outs on Saturday. We have had a few experiences of signing-up our kids for a sport, followed by them complaining about going to practice. So the Thursday before try-outs, my wife, Trish, had a conversation with Wesley to see how serious he was about baseball. She explained to him that we are a very busy family (she is a new tenure-track FSU professor, and I am starting a new pediatric practice), so it will be hard on our family to get him to all the games and practices, but if he was committed to playing baseball, we would support him and make sure he can play.

Well, he decided he did not really want to play.

I am pretty bummed.  I myself enjoyed playing baseball all through elementary, middle, and high school, and I enjoyed watching Wesley play and practicing with him. And baseball was my father’s favorite sports, so we had a lot of good father-son baseball moments. At Winthrop last year he played third base and hit okay.  The year before he had been his team’s best pitcher. I think he has had a lot of fun playing baseball and experienced much growth over the last few seasons.

Initially the disappointment led me to feel upset at my wife, that she had talked him out of playing baseball. But after more thought, many questions surfaced, and after thinking about these questions, I am convinced Trish did the right thing. Some of these questions were:

Is it my fault that he doesn’t want to play more? Maybe I did not play catch with him enough? Is participating in sport so valuable and important that we should really push our kids to play? Wesley already plays soccer for RAA Middle School and wants to run track, so how much sport should he (or kids in general) play? And he loves fishing, he could fish all day every day. So is playing a sport more important than other less physical activities or less competitive activities, such as fishing, playing an instrument, chess, or pottery?

So here are some of my thoughts (and what I was reminded of after looking through some of the research): Yes, playing a sport is valuable, and can be very beneficial in many ways, but it’s not NECESSARY for a child’s success.  I know a lot of people are thinking “duh,” but when you played sports all your life (and grew-up in Texas or Florida), this is very hard to grasp–even for a pediatrician!

Research shows that, yes, kids who play sports do usually get more exercise than kids who participate in other activities such as chess or fishing, but in almost every organized, goal-oriented activity, children will learn to face challenges, to work together, and to have fun.  So if a child does not play a sport, but participates in non-aerobic activities, such as chess or fishing, then the child needs to find a way of developing a life-long consistent exercise habit–such as hiking or biking.

So in our case, our son does not really need another sport. He gets his exercise through playing outside, gym (which he has all year at RAA), soccer, and track. And he is serious about fishing, which is teaching him how to improve himself, learning about new techniques, work as a team, and hard work (he helps me clean the boat after fishing). Trish instinctively knew all these things. I just have a hard time getting over the primacy of sport.

Which reminds me, I haven’t done much for exercise myself this weekend, I should walk my dogs. Until next time!