Dangerous websites, such as pornography, are just one Google search away from our children.
The exponential increase in children opting for virtual school will give children unsupervised access to the internet like we have never seen before. The computers that they will be using to access virtual classes and homework, give anyone access to anything on the internet.
And parents, including myself, don’t think that our eleven year-old would ever start looking at pornography. I mean, where would he or she get the idea? How would they know what to search for? And wouldn’t I find out?
But let me tell you, as a pediatrician and the parent of tweens, our kids are finding this stuff. In the exam room, many teenagers have confidentially shared what they have seen and watched online–and it’s not healthy. And not just teenagers but preteens as well!
And online pornography is dangerous for the mental health of our children, much like the pornographic magazines of the 80’s and 90’s, but even more so. There are many harmful effects of pornography on the childhood brain, and I will briefly review two here:
Online Pornography is Unhealthy
First, like a drug, Online Pornography is Addictive
Online pornography acts like a drug on our brain. Online porn scenes cause rapid and high levels of dopamine to be released into the brain. And just like a drug, teens who engage in online pornography will want more and more exposure to more and more provocative images, to experience this rapid and high level of dopamine release into the brain. This can lead teens to “waste time” on their computer, spend less time with their friends, and become lonely and depressed.
And recent research has shown that this effect is more pronounced on the teenage brain!
Second, Online Pornography can lead to Sexual Dysfunction
As adults, we know that pornography scenes are staged and fake, but children will take what they see as normal. This can lead to unhealthy expectations in their sexual encounters and can also lead to sexual dysfunction. And as “addicted” children watch more and more graphic pornography, they will have trouble with “normal” sexual function in a “normal” encounter.
What Can You Do? “CPR”
There is no perfect solution. If not at our own home, our kids may be exposed to dangerous websites at a friend’s home or on a friend’s device. But the best strategy consists of three tiered approach I call “CPR”:
- Communicate with your child about the dangers of the internet.
- Physically monitor potentially dangerous internet use.
- Restrict internet or device access to dangerous websites.
1. Communicate with your child about the dangers of the internet.
This is just like other important conversations that we will have with our children: sex, drugs, alcohol, and now add the internet. Depending on your children, around 9 to 11 years of age, I recommend sharing your views on the good and bad of the internet with your child. And if you don’t know what you believe, do some research. Read about how pornography, screen time, meeting strangers, etc. can all affect your child.
2. Physically monitor potentially dangerous internet use.
Most of the time, you can restrict your home internet or your child’s device from having internet browser (Chrome, Edge, Firefox, etc) access, but sometimes you can’t. If your child needs to access his virtual classes through a browser, then you have no choice but to allow internet browser access. But, you only need to allow them access to this device as necessary, and try to physically monitor what they are looking at. You cannot be there 100% of the time, but make sure that their device or computer is in a public area where you or other family members can easily see what they are doing. I strongly recommend against allowing a child to have internet browser access alone in their room.
3. Restrict internet or device access to internet browsers
It is much harder on computers and still very difficult on tablets and phones, but try to use parental monitoring software, like Apple’s Screentime, Google’s FamilyLink, or Disney’s MyCircle to completely block browser access. For example, with Apple’s Screentime, you can choose what apps your child has access to. If you really feel like they should be able to “browse” the internet, you can download child-friendly apps and browsers that allow you “whitelist” only certain websites that your child can visit.
Life with tech is tough
Technology has made our life better in so many ways, but it has definitely made it difficult to keep our children from being exposed to harmful material. Our parents had to make sure we didn’t have Showtime or HBO access as kids, but the internet is a whole new monster. And now that thousands of children will be spending thousands of hours online, we parents need to be proactive and protect our children. Our tween and teens will put up a fuss, but we need to do what is best for them.
Advocate for Change
One last thing we can do is advocate for our children. Ask your teachers and schools to include all their material in one internet location. For example, if a teacher requires a student to watch a video on YouTube, then you must leave YouTube unblocked, and your child will have access to anything on YouTube. But, if your school places all of their educational material on their own website or portal, then you can restrict YouTube access, protecting your child from potentially harmful material.
